Movie Reviews with Jonathan Miller - There Will Be Blood

There Won’t Be Blood

There Will Be Blood stars a man with a moustache, I think it’s the same person that played in that movie Quigley Down Under. Yes, Tom Selleck. Anyways, he plays some sort of coal miner or something and it takes place way back in the day. This movie follows his travels around the country digging around and eventually going hunting with his son. It was regarded as one of the best films of that year, but I cannot understand why.

First of all I’m really sick and tired of movie studios tricking the audience by trying to sell a movie as bloody. There was little to know blood in the entire thing. At the end, sorry spoilers, Tom Selleck and this weird boy go bowling and I guess they get upset with each other because maybe one of them crossed over the line. So he goes to the boy and starts throwing bowling balls at him! I know, what the heck does this guy not even know how to play bowling? I’m pretty good at it. I usually get a lot of strikes. It’s hard for me though and sometimes it goes in the gutter, lol!

The acting overall is pretty poor and I found the main characters moustache to be really distracting. Every time he spoke the moustache would move up and down and it made his lower lip seem to stick out further than it was supposed to. It was too much to handle and I kept thinking about if the moustache smelled bad. I don’t want to have to stare at a stinky moustache for over two hours! I can’t grow a moustache but I’m trying. Some people like my mom and dad keep telling me to shave it because I look “creepy and weird”. Will Smith was right, parents just don’t understand!

Also, the movie is over TWO HOURS. Halfway through I was getting pretty anxious and I went out into the lobby to get a refill of my popcorn and soda, that’s how long it was! Anyways I went out there and it was a pretty long line. There were lots of people at the movies and I tried to get to the front because I had already paid for my popcorn before. And then this guy started yelling at me! It was a very bad experience and then when I went back into the movie after standing in line for ten minutes the characters were at a completely different location. I didn’t make any sense and it was just overall pretty confusing. I definitely have to dock it some points for that.

Overall I was severely disappointed with There Will Be Blood and would not recommend it to anyone!